The Guy

He's in Switzerland right now, telling students there about the love of Christ. I miss him.

Bits and Pieces

We were at Costco and decided to get dinner there. We showed Aubrey the pictures of what was available: hot dogs, pizza, she said, "I think I'd like the salad." Wierd.

Typical Bryant moment. Frustrated and hilarious at the same time. And a lot of teeth.

Do you think Aubrey liked Vacation Bible School?

Bryant was so tired by Friday afternoon. He saw Sissy and promptly made his way over to where she was sitting and listened to the closing program.

Video of Aubs singing the closing song, "I'm Following Jesus." She was in awe of two girls standing along the wall and would take her cues from them.

Research Associates in Child Development

I just read this out of a No Greater Joy magazine that recently started showing up at my house. This is not original to me and there was no name attached to it, but I had to share it here:

"A woman, renewing her driver's license was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation. She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself. 'What I mean is,' explained the recorder, 'do you have a job or are you just a ...?' 'Of course I have a job,' snapped the woman. 'I'm a Mum.' 'We don't list, 'Mum,' as an occupation, 'housewife' covers it,' said the recorder emphatically. I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation. The clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient and posessed of a high sounding title. 'What is your occupation?' she probed. What made me say it? I do not know. The words simply popped out. 'I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations.' The clerk paused...and looked up as though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly, emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written, in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire. 'Might I ask,' said the clerk with new interest, 'just what you do in your field?' Cooly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, 'I have a continuing program of research, in the laboratory and in the field. I'm working for my Masters (the Lord and then my family) and already have four credits (ages 6 months to 13). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities and I often work 14 hours a day (more like 24?). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of satisfaction rather than just money.' There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up and personally ushered me to the door. I felt I had scored a win over bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than 'just another Mum.'"

This story made me smile and also made me frustrated with the importance of titles. I often get asked what I do, "besides being a mom?" And I feel an increasing sense that I should be pursuing some other interest, some other role that would make it possible to validate my existence. And it's silly.

As I was typing the end of the story I imagined God at a desk, and the questions He would ask me if I were "interviewing," so to say, and explaining my worth as a member of society. I pray I don't cave in to the pressure of making myself sound like more than I am. So what am I?

I am a selfish, flawed, weak human being, to tell the truth. What do I do with my time? Today I:

-Pulled my 3 year old into bed with us and praised her for not waking her brother up for the first time in a week!
-Talked and laughed with her about all she would get to learn at vacation Bible School later that morning.
-Practiced her team cheer. "Monkey See, Monkey Do. What Jesus Does, we will too! BROOOOWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNNN MONKEYS!!!"
-Made scrambled eggs for breakfast.
-Picked up my 16 month old out of his crib, promptly changed his soaked and poopy diaper, and sat him at the table for his eggs.
-Threw on clothes for myself, bagged up some canned food for the food drive at VBS for Aubrey.
-Helped both kids get dressed, packed up the diaper bag, and headed out the door for VBS.
-Spent 4 hours with kids learning silly songs, doing silly crafts, and hearing extremely simple stories from the Bible. (not exactly distinguished, is it?)
-Came home, fed the kids peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and apple slices, and put them down for naps.
-While they napped I worked on more "silly" crafts, these ones for me for the bazaar later in the year.
-Kids woke up, spent time sitting with them outside while they had fudgesicles.
-Bathed kids after the fudgesicles.
-Got kids dressed in their pajamas, loaded up in the car and drove to the air station to take John dinner.
-Came home, ate dinner ourselves, kids unwind, off to bed.

At various times throughout the day I changed another poopy diaper, cleaned up the potty that Bryant inadvertenly left for me on the rug between diaper changes, wiped gross runny noses, and cleaned up after the little messes made throughout the day. How does that turn out for a flawed, selfish human being? Not great all the time. Today I did okay...not perfect but okay. :)

How would that look on a resume'? That's a rhetorical question. We all know what I look like in the grocery store, in an office building, or in a room filled with other women my age who are more, "accomplished." But you know what? I am working for my Master and ultimately it is only His remarks that matter. On that note I sincerely pray that my life would not "measure up," to those recorders who ask what I do. I'm fairly sure that the worse I look to them, the more my Master is smiling. And, by the way, the more my kids are smiling, too. :)

Life in Full

My life is blessed...have I mentioned that? The days are (very) full. Baby #3 is giving Mommy a workout in physical stamina. Bryant & Aubrey give Mommy a daily workout of physical, mental, and emotional testing. But the days are so wonderfully full. I am counting my blessings today and the four at the top of my list are John, Aubrey, Bryant, and "Baby Who."

Our little man loves all things Daddy loves. Power tools are one of the biggies. He regularly goes out to the garage and puts on these ear protectors and shows me where the cool toys are that Daddy has.

On the (few) sunny days we have had here the kids like to eat outside. Bryant tends to lead the way with Aubrey girl following his steps. They sit, eat, laugh and babble about who knows what. It warms my heart.

My first harvest! Peas. On the menu for late summer/early fall: green beans, summer squash, zucchini, butternut squash, potatoes, beets, carrots, and pickling cucumbers. Oh, and pumpkins. God wired me to grow things. I love it.

The kids and I once again got to drive across the river to watch John do some cliff operations training. No pictures of Johnny flying this time but the kids loved jumping up and down and yelling, "HI!" to Daddy.


Aubrey spent a couple of days with Nana & Papa and that gave Bryant an opportunity to get Mommy & Daddy to himself for a day. We went to Cannon Beach and had a blast watching our very curious boy explore the exciting things around him. He loves the beach.

Dreams

Dreams. Do you all dream? The vivid, real, heart-wrenching sometimes dreams?

Lately I have been having very vivid, bittersweet dreams, that mean so much to me and I know I won't forget them.

Every night for about the last week I meet my Grandma in my dreams. It seems I am always in some location that I know my Grandma will show up in. The other night we were at a bazaar and Grandma was playing the piano there. I got to sit by her and catch up on what's been going on in my life for the last 5 years. Each time I dream about her we mostly talk about Aubrey and Bryant. I show her pictures of them and she usually tells me that Grandpa has told her all about them, too.

We also talk about the life I am living with John. In my dreams she can relate to a lot of the things I experience every day. I tell her about my garden and about being nervous to try canning or freezing something new. And I tell her about the chickens and she usually tells me that she never liked chickens because of the mess they make in the yard. I smile, like I used to do when she would "disapprove," of something and we go onto something else.



The dreams always end with me saying goodbye to her. I am always sad in my dream when I have to do this because it's less of a "see you tomorrow," goodbye and more of a, "see you in eternity," goodbye. She is her typical Grandma self, not being too sentimental about the goodbye. I tell her I wish she could watch my kids grow up and she just smiles. She used to do that. She would never validate an, "I wish," statement with an understanding, "I know, me too." She always had the quiet assurance that God knew best and she was wise enough not to ask Him, "Why." When I remember that about Grandma it helps me to not wish things into my life that aren't. It helps me not wish something were different in my life or wish that John and I could be more years down the road of our journey. When I remember that character trait of my Grandma's it is easier for me to stand up and be thankful for where I am in life, what I have, and who I have sitting beside me day to day.

I have been pondering why I, or anyone for that matter, dreams. And I think I have come up with one pretty simple possibility. God wants us to remember. He wants us to remember the people in our lives but probably more importantly He wants us to remember the lessons we learn in life. Sometimes dreams are the only time my heart is quiet enough to listen. Lucky for me I had a Grandma here on earth who never caved into the "I wish, if only," syndrome, so it is realistic for her not to do that in my dream. God is teaching me through that. I'm not going to, "I wish," my way out of a wonderful adventure that God has planned for me. I want to live faithfully, day in, day out, with the assurance that God knows best. And if I saw the whole picture, I would choose to walk the path that He has laid in front of me. So I will choose that path first, in faith, and not fight it.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down (pity?), especially the sin that so easily hinders our progress (I wish-ing?). And let us run with perseverence (put up those peas, plant that garden, wash those dishes, do that laundry, cook those meals, change those poopy diapers, read those million and one stories, play Candyland...again, wipe those tears) the race that God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, on whom our faith depends from start to finish. He was willing to die a shameful death on the cross because of the joy He knew would be His afterward. Now He is seated in the place of highest honor beside God's throne in Heaven." Hebrews 12: 1-2